There are the obvious things people tell you when you become a Mum. We all get told or at least have heard about how exhausting motherhood can be (especially if you are a single mum or don’t have a good support system) , or how Mums live off of no sleep, or even how we won’t have any time to do anything. And there’s the classic, that time literally flies.
We tend to say, ‘Yeah, I imagine it’s tiring’. But when the time comes, we can’t believe how our life has truly turned upside down.
I mean, if you think about it, it’s one of the biggest changes that someone could ever go through! Especially with ADHD, a change this big can have us spiraling!
And did you know motherhood often becomes the tipping point that reveals previously masked ADHD! There must be a reason for this, right? And there is!
ADHD Before VS After Kids
Before, you were just aboout coping. You might have had a few chaotic days here and there but it was manageable. And you listened to your body, as you should. You could stay home and dediate a day to catch up on laundry or cleaning or to just chill. And now… well… you feel as if you don’t have time for ANYTHING.
Forgetting things is part of our lives because ADHD can cause deficits in – our- working memory. We have had to possibly deal challenges which neurotypicals would never really face.
At one point I started making a joke out of it because of how forgetful I am.
And then you become a parent!
Sometimes you hope that it won’t be as hard as others tell you it will be.
But all those things you may have struggled with before have now become small.
You never thought you’ll struggle to find time to do simple tasks such as take a shower, and if you feel like you can’t get anything done it can get you spiraling.
You feel like there is too much to do and remember all at once with no time to process it all.
You no longer have ‘free time’. There is always something to do! And we all know the feeling of rarely being able to start AND finish a task without being interrupted.
The Struggles No One Warns You About
There are things such as the lack of sleep that we eventually learn to deal with. And we do get used to the routine that now surrounds the baby.
Although what I was not prepared for was the constant overwhelm. I felt as if so many around me wished me well and then left me to it. Once you have a baby, no matter if it was natural birth or cesarean, you need to get the necessary rest to heal.
You want to do so much, whilst not being able to and that does get to you.
Everything is new and scary. The overstimulation becomes overwhelming. I mean, you ARE having to adapt to two things at once, your new body and a completely new human!
Like, that is actually insane!!
What Actually Helps (When Nothing Feels Manageable)
RUNN AWAYY! Woo Hooo!
Okay Okay. That was my attempt of making a joke.
All jokes aside, try not to change the life that you had, instead adapt your baby to the life you had – with certain boundaries of course.
If you enjoyed going on walks every day… you still very much can.
If you enjoyed some alone time, you still very much can!
That applies to ALMOST everything.
Routines are so important for a baby and their sleep.
And every new mum needs to be reminded that not everything needs to get done. Celebrate that you got through another day!
And what has helped me tremendously is to do small things instead of starting things I know I won’t be able to finish in time.
You most definitely should rely on a to-do list or calendar so the important things are not forgotten.
And make sure to constantly love on yourself, there are lows and there are highs but you so got this!
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